Saying Goodbye - or Hello?

I said goodbye to a very dear friend tonight. Her name is Raine and she is 9 years old. I met Raine when she was only 4 and I knew then that I had much to learn from her.

Raine is moving all the way to Seattle with her Mom, who is also a dear friend. Since learning this news only days ago, I’ve been fearful of saying goodbye. It seemed the pain would be unbearable and I was pretty well convinced that I will never see Raine again. How would I say goodbye to a nine-year-old, knowing that tears will be free-flowing, and set a good example of faith in everlasting friendship? Raine and I have shared much together and through the trials and tribulations of her growing up in the 21st century, I learned to observe, share insight and know when to simply remain silent and just “be.”

Through all of my preparation and training to be a great coach, I never learned as much as I did from this very wise, very bright little girl. Tonight was no exception.

Raine was all laughter and charm – not quite what I expected on this bittersweet occasion. She was a nine-year-old through and through – the first time I’ve ever known her to act her age and not dance with life in the ways of a very old soul. I didn’t know what to do with this little person. It was like trying to say goodbye to a stranger. So, I asked. “Raine, are you avoiding me?” I received an instantaneous response. “Of course I am because I’m not going to cry tonight.”
I put on my coaches hat, thinking that she was avoiding her emotions, and I said, “But Raine, it’s natural to cry when you say goodbye to someone you love.”
Her quick response was, “But, you see Marla, I’m not going to say goodbye. I’m just going on a long trip and we’ll see each other another time. There’s no need for tears because long trips are fun and I know that I’ll get to see you again. It could even be on another planet!”

Raine was right, you know. I believe so strongly that those who are significant to us will return to us someday, somewhere. For some reason I didn’t apply that thinking to my friendship with a 9-year-old. There will come a day when Raine is physically in my life again. Until then, it’s not goodbye – it’s thank you for all you’ve taught me, Raine. You’re with me in spirit each day and every time you come to mind I say “hello” – not goodbye!