A number of posts ago, I wrote about my decision to give intention to attracting that special person into my life. I spoke about noticing the things that I find attractive in the men I casually meet and giving thanks for bringing that quality into my scope of awareness; about adding “relationship” images that talk to me (and the Universe) to my vision board; I talked about being specific in identifying the qualities that are important to me in a partner, and about boosting my own self-confidence in this arena.
Well, I promised an update and here we go…
I’ve continued to stay fairly committed to the process. I say fairly because I know there’s more I could do, like actually go places where I may meet menJ - but, truthfully, I don’t know where those places are! I’ve spoken more freely to friends (and acquaintances) about this goal and I’ve taken action by – ok, don’t laugh – joining an on-line dating website!
It’s been a fun process with some movement forward. I’ve met a man at one of the coffeehouses I frequent. We simply chat from time-to-time, but it’s a fun, casual and flirty relationship. I did go out on a date with a wonderful man and hopefully we’ve begun a lasting friendship, but our overall values and goals weren’t compatible for a dating relationship. Both sets of values and goals are admirable mind you, just different directions. I do believe that this friendship will bring value to both of our lives, so that’s cool.
Most interestingly, and probably most significant, is that I’m running into and speaking to a larger number of men….ahhhh, The Law of Attraction at work! I think there’s something about this fact that tells me I’m moving in the right direction.
But I’ve also come to another awareness: I am so busy building my business that I think a dating relationship would be a distraction. So, as you see, I have a decision to make: either I shed that limiting belief and embrace that a relationship would increase my creativity and motivation to build my business, or I need to accept this belief as fact and just continue to have fun with this flirty little period of my life and believe that ….when the time is right…. Hummmmmm.
How about you? Any suggestions, comments, or insights? What is important to you and have you really applied LOA techniques to create change?
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Saying Goodbye - or Hello?
I said goodbye to a very dear friend tonight. Her name is Raine and she is 9 years old. I met Raine when she was only 4 and I knew then that I had much to learn from her.
Raine is moving all the way to Seattle with her Mom, who is also a dear friend. Since learning this news only days ago, I’ve been fearful of saying goodbye. It seemed the pain would be unbearable and I was pretty well convinced that I will never see Raine again. How would I say goodbye to a nine-year-old, knowing that tears will be free-flowing, and set a good example of faith in everlasting friendship? Raine and I have shared much together and through the trials and tribulations of her growing up in the 21st century, I learned to observe, share insight and know when to simply remain silent and just “be.”
Through all of my preparation and training to be a great coach, I never learned as much as I did from this very wise, very bright little girl. Tonight was no exception.
Raine was all laughter and charm – not quite what I expected on this bittersweet occasion. She was a nine-year-old through and through – the first time I’ve ever known her to act her age and not dance with life in the ways of a very old soul. I didn’t know what to do with this little person. It was like trying to say goodbye to a stranger. So, I asked. “Raine, are you avoiding me?” I received an instantaneous response. “Of course I am because I’m not going to cry tonight.”
I put on my coaches hat, thinking that she was avoiding her emotions, and I said, “But Raine, it’s natural to cry when you say goodbye to someone you love.”
Her quick response was, “But, you see Marla, I’m not going to say goodbye. I’m just going on a long trip and we’ll see each other another time. There’s no need for tears because long trips are fun and I know that I’ll get to see you again. It could even be on another planet!”
Raine was right, you know. I believe so strongly that those who are significant to us will return to us someday, somewhere. For some reason I didn’t apply that thinking to my friendship with a 9-year-old. There will come a day when Raine is physically in my life again. Until then, it’s not goodbye – it’s thank you for all you’ve taught me, Raine. You’re with me in spirit each day and every time you come to mind I say “hello” – not goodbye!
Raine is moving all the way to Seattle with her Mom, who is also a dear friend. Since learning this news only days ago, I’ve been fearful of saying goodbye. It seemed the pain would be unbearable and I was pretty well convinced that I will never see Raine again. How would I say goodbye to a nine-year-old, knowing that tears will be free-flowing, and set a good example of faith in everlasting friendship? Raine and I have shared much together and through the trials and tribulations of her growing up in the 21st century, I learned to observe, share insight and know when to simply remain silent and just “be.”
Through all of my preparation and training to be a great coach, I never learned as much as I did from this very wise, very bright little girl. Tonight was no exception.
Raine was all laughter and charm – not quite what I expected on this bittersweet occasion. She was a nine-year-old through and through – the first time I’ve ever known her to act her age and not dance with life in the ways of a very old soul. I didn’t know what to do with this little person. It was like trying to say goodbye to a stranger. So, I asked. “Raine, are you avoiding me?” I received an instantaneous response. “Of course I am because I’m not going to cry tonight.”
I put on my coaches hat, thinking that she was avoiding her emotions, and I said, “But Raine, it’s natural to cry when you say goodbye to someone you love.”
Her quick response was, “But, you see Marla, I’m not going to say goodbye. I’m just going on a long trip and we’ll see each other another time. There’s no need for tears because long trips are fun and I know that I’ll get to see you again. It could even be on another planet!”
Raine was right, you know. I believe so strongly that those who are significant to us will return to us someday, somewhere. For some reason I didn’t apply that thinking to my friendship with a 9-year-old. There will come a day when Raine is physically in my life again. Until then, it’s not goodbye – it’s thank you for all you’ve taught me, Raine. You’re with me in spirit each day and every time you come to mind I say “hello” – not goodbye!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Mind Over - -- Eyes?
The weather here in Chicago has mirrored the typical Midwest winters of years before. Cold, but with a fresh blanket of snow just often enough to help you forget that we're in the bitter, cold city and not the winter wonderland of a child's dreams.
With the snow, comes the ever-dreaded chore of shoveling. It's always fun the first time, but by the end of January it becomes another chore that the members of the household try to pass around like the last unwanted bite of dessert after a filling meal. "You do it, I did it last time," we say in our most convincing tone. Oh, the dreaded shoveling.
Yesterday morning was my turn; not that anyone's been keeping track anymore. I was stuck with the job and determined to enjoy it. Of course, I "just knew" that the kids didn't put the shovel back where it belonged. One glance at its designated corner told me I was right. Ok, well doesn't this make matters worse? I felt the aggitation beginning to churn as I combed the garage for the shovel so that I could do the chore that I least wanted to do. I went through my mental checklist of who might be the culprit and what ridiculous place I might find the shovel. I just knew it wasn't anywhere in the garage and I sure didn't see it anywhere. Well, who needs a shoveled sidewalk anyway? We only have about 2 more months of winter and we're bound to see a warm spell sooner or later. Nope, there will be no shoveling today - but boy was I aggravated (and secretly relieved).
The incident soon forgotten, I went on with my day. That is, until the girls came home from work and I had the opportunity to jump on the burning question. "Where in the world did you guys leave the shovel?" I couldn't wait for this answer. After all, why would you need to bring it indoors? It's certainly buried in the snow, useless and rusting. Well, wasn't I surprised to learn that they had actually hung the shovel on a peg right there in the garage, in a very logical place after all.
Hummm, this took some processing. I looked everywhere, I know I did. Soon, I realized that I didn't want to shovel the sidewalk AND I went into the garage with the anticipation of being unable to find the shovel because the girls never put anything back where it belongs. (Well, except for this one time).
Preconceived notions; illusions created by a strong-willed mind. Call it what you will, but I certainly learned from this reminder of how powerful the mind truly is. Going into our tasks without judgment or negative expectation is critical to success and peace of mind. I know that had I seen the shovel I would have enjoyed the task of communing with mother nature - and I would have felt a sense of accomplishment for the exercise and feeling of completion. I deprived myself of this because I had judged the circumstances and therefore blinded myself to the obvious. Thankfully, this time it resulted only in a case of unshoveled snow.
What kinds of things do you close your eyes to - or judge? Remember the mood that results when we judge. Wouldn't life be more pleasant and simple if we could just allow?
With the snow, comes the ever-dreaded chore of shoveling. It's always fun the first time, but by the end of January it becomes another chore that the members of the household try to pass around like the last unwanted bite of dessert after a filling meal. "You do it, I did it last time," we say in our most convincing tone. Oh, the dreaded shoveling.
Yesterday morning was my turn; not that anyone's been keeping track anymore. I was stuck with the job and determined to enjoy it. Of course, I "just knew" that the kids didn't put the shovel back where it belonged. One glance at its designated corner told me I was right. Ok, well doesn't this make matters worse? I felt the aggitation beginning to churn as I combed the garage for the shovel so that I could do the chore that I least wanted to do. I went through my mental checklist of who might be the culprit and what ridiculous place I might find the shovel. I just knew it wasn't anywhere in the garage and I sure didn't see it anywhere. Well, who needs a shoveled sidewalk anyway? We only have about 2 more months of winter and we're bound to see a warm spell sooner or later. Nope, there will be no shoveling today - but boy was I aggravated (and secretly relieved).
The incident soon forgotten, I went on with my day. That is, until the girls came home from work and I had the opportunity to jump on the burning question. "Where in the world did you guys leave the shovel?" I couldn't wait for this answer. After all, why would you need to bring it indoors? It's certainly buried in the snow, useless and rusting. Well, wasn't I surprised to learn that they had actually hung the shovel on a peg right there in the garage, in a very logical place after all.
Hummm, this took some processing. I looked everywhere, I know I did. Soon, I realized that I didn't want to shovel the sidewalk AND I went into the garage with the anticipation of being unable to find the shovel because the girls never put anything back where it belongs. (Well, except for this one time).
Preconceived notions; illusions created by a strong-willed mind. Call it what you will, but I certainly learned from this reminder of how powerful the mind truly is. Going into our tasks without judgment or negative expectation is critical to success and peace of mind. I know that had I seen the shovel I would have enjoyed the task of communing with mother nature - and I would have felt a sense of accomplishment for the exercise and feeling of completion. I deprived myself of this because I had judged the circumstances and therefore blinded myself to the obvious. Thankfully, this time it resulted only in a case of unshoveled snow.
What kinds of things do you close your eyes to - or judge? Remember the mood that results when we judge. Wouldn't life be more pleasant and simple if we could just allow?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Communicating With Your Employees
Many of my wonderful clients are entrepreneurs who are hiring in larger numbers as their businesses grow. In my experience, most of the entrepreneurs who enter into coaching are struggling with finding the right employee or keeping their employees happy. My observation is that many of these businesses started out as "kitchen table" ideas and have grown into full-blown enterprises. With that said, who do you think is the company’s first employee? Well, that would be a best friend, a sister or brother, a mother, or cousin. A few years later, we have a can of worms bursting at the seams.
Here's why. When a business is in the conceptual stages, an entrepreneurial mind is stimulated beyond belief. It's exciting, it's challenging, and it’s all the things that make that person tick. So we join forces with whoever is at the kitchen table with us and begin our foray into the world of business.
Typically, the entrepreneur will see the need to grow, learn, invest, and work harder and harder. But the "partner" or employee often stays behind. They saw this as just a fun little adventure and they never intended for it to take over their lives. Moreover, the entrepreneur feels ethically bound to this person; after all that person was there at the beginning and did a lot of work to get the business off the ground.
I'm going to let you in on a secret. If this is where you are at in your business, you AND your employee(s) are unhappy. Open communication is the key here. No one likes being in a position where they are feeling the daily tension that can result from a problem like this. No one feels good about himself or herself if they know they are not meeting the expectations of a good friend and/or boss. The result is one or more of many negative reactions; anger, low self esteem, sarcasm, mistakes, even revenge.
So, and I can't express this enough, talk to your employees. Even if you feel this may be a confrontational situation, do it. Ask them what their goals and dreams are and if they include staying with the company. If so, in what capacity? What do they most love doing, what do they feel are their greatest strengths? Remember, you have probably grown into your roles with the company out of necessity, not always keeping your skills and interests in mind. So re-evaluate. What does your employee really want? What is are their professional goals? You may even find that they are staying with the company only because they don’t want to let you down. Sometimes this evaluation leads to turnover, sometimes into restructuring. Whichever it is, it will lead to greater productivity, growth, and most importantly - lower stress!
Share your story with us and let's talk about it!
Here's why. When a business is in the conceptual stages, an entrepreneurial mind is stimulated beyond belief. It's exciting, it's challenging, and it’s all the things that make that person tick. So we join forces with whoever is at the kitchen table with us and begin our foray into the world of business.
Typically, the entrepreneur will see the need to grow, learn, invest, and work harder and harder. But the "partner" or employee often stays behind. They saw this as just a fun little adventure and they never intended for it to take over their lives. Moreover, the entrepreneur feels ethically bound to this person; after all that person was there at the beginning and did a lot of work to get the business off the ground.
I'm going to let you in on a secret. If this is where you are at in your business, you AND your employee(s) are unhappy. Open communication is the key here. No one likes being in a position where they are feeling the daily tension that can result from a problem like this. No one feels good about himself or herself if they know they are not meeting the expectations of a good friend and/or boss. The result is one or more of many negative reactions; anger, low self esteem, sarcasm, mistakes, even revenge.
So, and I can't express this enough, talk to your employees. Even if you feel this may be a confrontational situation, do it. Ask them what their goals and dreams are and if they include staying with the company. If so, in what capacity? What do they most love doing, what do they feel are their greatest strengths? Remember, you have probably grown into your roles with the company out of necessity, not always keeping your skills and interests in mind. So re-evaluate. What does your employee really want? What is are their professional goals? You may even find that they are staying with the company only because they don’t want to let you down. Sometimes this evaluation leads to turnover, sometimes into restructuring. Whichever it is, it will lead to greater productivity, growth, and most importantly - lower stress!
Share your story with us and let's talk about it!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Introduction to The Law of Attraction
As a child I used to pretend that I could move things without touching them. Deep down inside I truly felt that there was some validity to the game and often wondered if I could "teach" my brain to move physical things around. How fun would that be? Imagine the tricks you could play on your parents when they told you to clean your room or put the dishes away! Gosh, how I wished I could move things with my brain!
As an adult I hung on to threads of that belief. Is the brain powerful enough to say, bring me my cell phone? How fun! Then I was introduced to the world of Metaphysics - the study of the mind outside of the body. That sounds scary, but really it's about spirituality, human beings as energy, and the power of thought. I've been studying Metaphysics for years now and it has transformed my life. It's also made me realize that my childhood fantasy wasn't entirely out of the question.
While we haven't learned to harness the power of the mind to this degree yet, moving objects is not entirely out of the question. But what we can do is much more powerful if you really think about it. We can use our thoughts as magnets, that's right, The Law of Attraction. If you're not familiar with this amazing ability I strongly suggest reading "Ask and It Is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This book (I recommend purchasing the book, not the CD's - or both) is a great beginner's resource.
The energy of the mind is truly a part of the larger Universal Energy and we each have the power to tap into that. Start small and know that this is a study that will lead to total transformation if you desire it and are willing to commit to it. You can attract your dreams; the new car; new job; the love of your life. As long as there is no ill intent and you do not try to control the lives of others, you can attract life-altering changes into your life.
Read "Ask" and begin with one small exercise. Let me know how it goes and let's use this forum to learn and teach more! What will you change in your life?
As an adult I hung on to threads of that belief. Is the brain powerful enough to say, bring me my cell phone? How fun! Then I was introduced to the world of Metaphysics - the study of the mind outside of the body. That sounds scary, but really it's about spirituality, human beings as energy, and the power of thought. I've been studying Metaphysics for years now and it has transformed my life. It's also made me realize that my childhood fantasy wasn't entirely out of the question.
While we haven't learned to harness the power of the mind to this degree yet, moving objects is not entirely out of the question. But what we can do is much more powerful if you really think about it. We can use our thoughts as magnets, that's right, The Law of Attraction. If you're not familiar with this amazing ability I strongly suggest reading "Ask and It Is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This book (I recommend purchasing the book, not the CD's - or both) is a great beginner's resource.
The energy of the mind is truly a part of the larger Universal Energy and we each have the power to tap into that. Start small and know that this is a study that will lead to total transformation if you desire it and are willing to commit to it. You can attract your dreams; the new car; new job; the love of your life. As long as there is no ill intent and you do not try to control the lives of others, you can attract life-altering changes into your life.
Read "Ask" and begin with one small exercise. Let me know how it goes and let's use this forum to learn and teach more! What will you change in your life?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
