I’m creating a new website for my business. Well, that’s another story all together, but it sure is a process that’s creating a lot of awareness’s for me. Thinking of themes, image, creating just the right words that will convey just the right message. It’s a tricky process, but one that I’m enjoying….as much as one can enjoy trying to put their message in a single sentence (because that’s about all people really read).
I really want to reach out to the “successful” female entrepreneur; "successful" being a loose term because everyone defines success differently. While money may be a common factor in most people’s definition of success, the amount of money varies and the key factors and definition of success also vary: depending on the individual and her/his values and goals. The things that get in the way of each person’s success also vary. But many of my female clients share a common thread: they feel that they have to do it all. That’s right, many female entrepreneurs don’t consider themselves successful unless they continue to keep a clean house, cook great meals, satisfy all of their kids’ and husbands’ essential needs, remain the glue that holds the extended family together, “be there” for their girlfriends, AND operate a flawless and thriving business. Doesn’t sound too overwhelming, does it? That is if you forget about your own needs and subsist on about 3 hours of sleep a night.
During an exercise to find the common denominators in many of the women I’ve coached, I confirmed my suspicion that many women carry this curse: “If I am not Superwoman, then I will let everyone down and my world will fall apart.” Furthermore, many women believe that if they “let everyone down” then they are not successful and no one in their family and circle of friends will survive properly without their constant and unyielding support. Wow! Where did we learn this about ourselves? Why is it that we don’t understand that if we continue to tip the scales, somewhere along the way we lose balance? I guess this must be a leftover remnant of belief systems from generations past…and I can honestly say that it has to change to save the sanity and health of the modern female entrepreneur. These are the people I hope to reach through my new Internet presence. I want to help women business owners learn to take better care of themselves without sacrificing the integrity of their relationships and their business. It can be done – really it can!
As a coach, there is nothing more fulfilling to me than to hear my client say that their life has changed in a positive way. To hear the excitement in a woman’s voice when she reports that she slept in on Sunday and the kids brought her breakfast in bed; or that she’s been going to the gym regularly again and met a girlfriend for lunch…ahhhh, music to this coach’s ears! The “curse” begins to lift, the clouds part, and the client’s life begins to feel like a real life again – yippee! The really great news is that no one and nothing, not even the business, has to suffer during this process. Ahhh, life is good!
Do you operate under the shadow of the “curse”? For a quick test, ask yourself what is most important to you in life: the kids, your marriage, good health, spirituality, having fun, etc. Then ask how much time you spend satisfying this value or need. If you spend an insufficient amount of time in the area that is most important to your happiness and well-being, then take a look at the big picture and look for the balance. Is it there? If not, you can regain your life balance (or for some create it for the first time ever).
Stop by my website - LifeMapCoaching.net and ask for a complimentary coaching session. Let’s begin to balance those scales and help you to find you again!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Ever Had a Re-epiphany?
That’s what I called it; a re-epiphany. Having an epiphany is always a good thing, but having a re-epiphany reawakened me to my purpose as a coach. Wow!
About 3 months ago I created a plan. I love creating plans, but I will admit to you that I don’t always love following through with my well thought-out plans.... The curse of an entrepreneurial mind! You see, entrepreneurs LOVE working the creative part of the brain. Oh yes, the right brain gets a work out while the left brain hemisphere sits around growing sluggish and fat with information waiting to bust out.
I told my coach about my plan to grow my business in a new direction; an epiphany that I'd had about the current direction of my business and where it needed to go. Gretchen is an amazing coach – also full of ideas and creativity … and she gets me. So she holds me accountable and prods me with lines that get my stubborn ego motivated to act. Exactly what I need and boy does she deliver! Thanks Gretchen! So, with my stubborn ego reporting to Gretchen every other week, I’ve been dutiful in moving forward and producing the products that I will soon be releasing to the world – yay!
But I got off track with another plan because again, you see, that’s what entrepreneurs do. Somehow, this other plan just didn’t feel good to me. For a whole week, I put my focus toward coaching sales people to improve their performance and results…yup, a whole week :). Luckily, it was only a week beforeI realized – hey – I’m off track, what happened to THE plan....This – was phase one of my re-epiphany. I got off track. “So what?” you might say. But you see - and I shout it from the rooftops - “I AM A COACH!” I’m a coach and I got off track. Is that supposed to happen to coaches? Isn’t that what I help my clients NOT to do? That stubborn ego was about ready to beat me up when phase two of the re-epiphany occurred. What a wonderful reminder of how important coaching really is. Everyone gets off track and that’s ok – really it is. But people like Gretchen and me help people get their caboose back on the track and I’m really proud of that.
So, take a little time out and think about your plan. Sometimes a reminder of our purpose, whether it’s in work, personal goals, relationships, or as a parent, simply gets us back on track and reminds us just how important our daily activities are in the big picture. Today, take some time to appreciate all of that hard work – give yourself a pat on the back. Heck, break out the champagne because YOU are unique and special. Celebrate yourself today!
About 3 months ago I created a plan. I love creating plans, but I will admit to you that I don’t always love following through with my well thought-out plans.... The curse of an entrepreneurial mind! You see, entrepreneurs LOVE working the creative part of the brain. Oh yes, the right brain gets a work out while the left brain hemisphere sits around growing sluggish and fat with information waiting to bust out.
I told my coach about my plan to grow my business in a new direction; an epiphany that I'd had about the current direction of my business and where it needed to go. Gretchen is an amazing coach – also full of ideas and creativity … and she gets me. So she holds me accountable and prods me with lines that get my stubborn ego motivated to act. Exactly what I need and boy does she deliver! Thanks Gretchen! So, with my stubborn ego reporting to Gretchen every other week, I’ve been dutiful in moving forward and producing the products that I will soon be releasing to the world – yay!
But I got off track with another plan because again, you see, that’s what entrepreneurs do. Somehow, this other plan just didn’t feel good to me. For a whole week, I put my focus toward coaching sales people to improve their performance and results…yup, a whole week :). Luckily, it was only a week beforeI realized – hey – I’m off track, what happened to THE plan....This – was phase one of my re-epiphany. I got off track. “So what?” you might say. But you see - and I shout it from the rooftops - “I AM A COACH!” I’m a coach and I got off track. Is that supposed to happen to coaches? Isn’t that what I help my clients NOT to do? That stubborn ego was about ready to beat me up when phase two of the re-epiphany occurred. What a wonderful reminder of how important coaching really is. Everyone gets off track and that’s ok – really it is. But people like Gretchen and me help people get their caboose back on the track and I’m really proud of that.
So, take a little time out and think about your plan. Sometimes a reminder of our purpose, whether it’s in work, personal goals, relationships, or as a parent, simply gets us back on track and reminds us just how important our daily activities are in the big picture. Today, take some time to appreciate all of that hard work – give yourself a pat on the back. Heck, break out the champagne because YOU are unique and special. Celebrate yourself today!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Every Day I Worry!
Every so often – well, quite often – I hear a client or acquaintance say something like “Every day I worry that [fill in the blank].” Oh, it might be that the dog will get sick, or the kids will be late for school. Perhaps that the wife or husband will get into a traffic accident or the plane will be late. I almost wonder if it doesn’t matter what the “blank” is, just so there’s something to worry about!
What I’ve discovered – in my humble opinion – is that worry, for some, is simply a state of being. Worriers have usually picked up the habit either from a parent, or from a series of bad experiences in their past. It becomes their default thought mechanism and a part of who they are. When I’m coaching a worrier, I might suggest that we work on changing the habit. After all, life is so much more pleasant when one doesn’t go through their day predicting a fatal outcome for every event. Well, from my perspective at least.
The interesting piece is that worriers rarely want to change the habit. I find that they “worry” about who they will be without this piece of their thought process in tact. It’s been a part of them for so long that they don’t know who they’ll be without it. I can understand that. If your mind is so busy with worry much of the time, what will you think about when you choose not to worry? Hummm, a dilemma – and really, it is a serious one. When a chronic worrier comes into coaching, I do have a few tricks that often work….
Certainly, EFT – The Emotional Freedom Technique – is number one in the bag of tricks. If we minimize or eliminate the emotional attachment to those negative memories, an individual can learn to let go of worry thinking. But then, what do we replace the worry thinking with? Well, positive thinking of course!
Even if you’re not a chronic worrier, try these things – it just feels good and you’ll find your energy taking upward spin. Begin with a gratitude journal. Every night take 5 or 10 minutes to write about the good things that happened during your day. Shoot for 3 or more things. Now, in the beginning that can feel like a stretch. But remember, you don’t have to win the lotto or a trip to Hawaii (although that may happen) to qualify your entry into a gratitude journal. It may be something like a stranger holding a door open for you or a beautiful butterfly that landed on your screen door. If you begin to truly embrace the beauty of these things, your energy will shift over time….probably sooner than you’d expect.
Another little exercise is to look for the pleasant things around you when you’re waiting at a stoplight or standing in line at the grocery store. A dad holding his toddler’s hand while walking down the sidewalk; a couple laughing over an “inside joke;” a grocery clerk going out of her way to help a customer. Notice the things you wouldn’t have paid attention to in the past…you’ll be amazed at the pleasant experiences that you’ll draw into your life.
There are many more ways to shift to positive thinking, but this is a good start. If you know a chronic worrier who wants to change, perhaps you can introduce them to a process or two that may help. They may benefit from the assistance of a life coach or a therapist, depending on how chronic the worrying is. Remember, suggesting help to someone who is ready is just another way of telling them that you care.
What I’ve discovered – in my humble opinion – is that worry, for some, is simply a state of being. Worriers have usually picked up the habit either from a parent, or from a series of bad experiences in their past. It becomes their default thought mechanism and a part of who they are. When I’m coaching a worrier, I might suggest that we work on changing the habit. After all, life is so much more pleasant when one doesn’t go through their day predicting a fatal outcome for every event. Well, from my perspective at least.
The interesting piece is that worriers rarely want to change the habit. I find that they “worry” about who they will be without this piece of their thought process in tact. It’s been a part of them for so long that they don’t know who they’ll be without it. I can understand that. If your mind is so busy with worry much of the time, what will you think about when you choose not to worry? Hummm, a dilemma – and really, it is a serious one. When a chronic worrier comes into coaching, I do have a few tricks that often work….
Certainly, EFT – The Emotional Freedom Technique – is number one in the bag of tricks. If we minimize or eliminate the emotional attachment to those negative memories, an individual can learn to let go of worry thinking. But then, what do we replace the worry thinking with? Well, positive thinking of course!
Even if you’re not a chronic worrier, try these things – it just feels good and you’ll find your energy taking upward spin. Begin with a gratitude journal. Every night take 5 or 10 minutes to write about the good things that happened during your day. Shoot for 3 or more things. Now, in the beginning that can feel like a stretch. But remember, you don’t have to win the lotto or a trip to Hawaii (although that may happen) to qualify your entry into a gratitude journal. It may be something like a stranger holding a door open for you or a beautiful butterfly that landed on your screen door. If you begin to truly embrace the beauty of these things, your energy will shift over time….probably sooner than you’d expect.
Another little exercise is to look for the pleasant things around you when you’re waiting at a stoplight or standing in line at the grocery store. A dad holding his toddler’s hand while walking down the sidewalk; a couple laughing over an “inside joke;” a grocery clerk going out of her way to help a customer. Notice the things you wouldn’t have paid attention to in the past…you’ll be amazed at the pleasant experiences that you’ll draw into your life.
There are many more ways to shift to positive thinking, but this is a good start. If you know a chronic worrier who wants to change, perhaps you can introduce them to a process or two that may help. They may benefit from the assistance of a life coach or a therapist, depending on how chronic the worrying is. Remember, suggesting help to someone who is ready is just another way of telling them that you care.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Understanding Perspective
I talk about perspective a lot when I’m working with clients. Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that the world comes in many different colors and we all see them in our own distinct way. We sometimes have the tendency to assume or evaluate what another person meant when they did or said something-or didn’t do or say something that we expected them to.
My favorite example of this comes from when my kids were about 7 years old. Every night (or so it seems) I would tell them to feed and water the dogs. Every night this turned into a struggle of compliance and caused me great aggravation – them too I would suppose. I can’t even tell you how long this went on – urrggghhh!
Finally, one evening I spun on my children with a raised voice, “Why can’t you just do your job? This is YOUR responsibility!” Staring back at me were two sets of large, curious, and rather surprised baby blue eyes. “What?” I demanded. My twin daughters looked at one another as they always did when determining who would be the spokesperson for the issue at hand. Finally, Kim spoke up and said, “Mom, we didn’t know this was our job.”
How could this be possible when we went over this every single night of the week?! Of course it was their job, I told them to do it every night – didn’t they get it? So, that’s what I asked them, “What in the world do you mean, I tell you to do it every night!”
“But you never told us it was our job!” they exclaimed in unison.
Well, I couldn’t argue that one. From their perspective, until they were told in no uncertain terms and in very specific language, it was simply a chore I was asking them to perform to help me out in the moment. Hummmm. Who’s got something to learn here? Mom, that’s who!
So, I immediately cured my mistake and explained this responsibility to them, including exactly what was expected and why. They began to embrace this important task and even made a feeding chart that they could initial each day when one of them completed the chore! Sure, there were nights when it was still a struggle to get the dogs fed, but never as bad as it was before this important revelation. The girls embraced their responsibility as well as any 7-year-old might do.
I learned so much from my kids on that day. I’ve learned a lot from them over the last 21 years! But this one really stands out for me. Igrasped the importance of two-way communication and understanding as well as how things can look from another’s perspective. No one is necessarily right, no one is wrong, it just is.
How well do you communicate with the people in your life? Do you give your employees proper direction or do you assume that they will think the same way as you do? Do you communicate your perspective or understanding of a situation to prevent misunderstandings in your relationships? Do you expect that others should “know how you feel” without giving them the advantage of a dialogue? Share your stories and examples here!
My favorite example of this comes from when my kids were about 7 years old. Every night (or so it seems) I would tell them to feed and water the dogs. Every night this turned into a struggle of compliance and caused me great aggravation – them too I would suppose. I can’t even tell you how long this went on – urrggghhh!
Finally, one evening I spun on my children with a raised voice, “Why can’t you just do your job? This is YOUR responsibility!” Staring back at me were two sets of large, curious, and rather surprised baby blue eyes. “What?” I demanded. My twin daughters looked at one another as they always did when determining who would be the spokesperson for the issue at hand. Finally, Kim spoke up and said, “Mom, we didn’t know this was our job.”
How could this be possible when we went over this every single night of the week?! Of course it was their job, I told them to do it every night – didn’t they get it? So, that’s what I asked them, “What in the world do you mean, I tell you to do it every night!”
“But you never told us it was our job!” they exclaimed in unison.
Well, I couldn’t argue that one. From their perspective, until they were told in no uncertain terms and in very specific language, it was simply a chore I was asking them to perform to help me out in the moment. Hummmm. Who’s got something to learn here? Mom, that’s who!
So, I immediately cured my mistake and explained this responsibility to them, including exactly what was expected and why. They began to embrace this important task and even made a feeding chart that they could initial each day when one of them completed the chore! Sure, there were nights when it was still a struggle to get the dogs fed, but never as bad as it was before this important revelation. The girls embraced their responsibility as well as any 7-year-old might do.
I learned so much from my kids on that day. I’ve learned a lot from them over the last 21 years! But this one really stands out for me. Igrasped the importance of two-way communication and understanding as well as how things can look from another’s perspective. No one is necessarily right, no one is wrong, it just is.
How well do you communicate with the people in your life? Do you give your employees proper direction or do you assume that they will think the same way as you do? Do you communicate your perspective or understanding of a situation to prevent misunderstandings in your relationships? Do you expect that others should “know how you feel” without giving them the advantage of a dialogue? Share your stories and examples here!
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