Christmas this year brings something very different for our family. You see, there is a 20-year time span between the youngest and the eldest sibling - there are 7 of us. By the time my little sister Janine was born, El had moved out of the family home to start a family of her own. We've all gone our own ways, making lives for ourselves in different states, as far away as Hawaii. Never, in the history of our family have we all been together under the same roof for Christmas - can you imagine that?
So, last winter my big brother threw an idea out there: "Hey, why don't you all (ya'll) come to Atlanta next Christmas?" He now admits that he never really believed any of us would take him up on the idea. Whereas, I don't believe that any of us even hesitated! So here we are, bringing lots of business to the airlines as 40 or more, including grandchildren and their children, prepare to hop on a holiday flight to sunny Atlanta. I'm so excited!
Since we've decided to all participate in a fun holiday grab bag, there's not much shopping to do. Now that feels odd. My kids received plane tickets this year and another very special gift; the opportunity to spend the holidays with cousins, aunts, and uncles from various parts of the world. What's really cool is that my Mom is a vibrant, healthy, 87-year-old and this is most likely the Christmas gift of a lifetime for her. I can't wait to see her residing over one of the most festive holiday meals ever – and she’s not preparing it.
So, while I'm kind of missing the excitement of gift giving and holiday shopping, I know that our presence at this family reunion is the greatest gift any of us could possibly give or receive. Watching my girls, my Mom, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, all take delight in this time together promises to be the most precious experience. You can't put a bow on this, but I'm certain that the surprises will be many!
What is the greatest gift you've prepared this year? How do you think outside of the box when you're gift giving? Remember, the gift of time has limitless value and brings the greatest joy!
Happy Holidays!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Resolution vs. Gratitude
Welcome to that time of the year that says “tradition.” It’s fun to look forward to some traditions, but what about – The New Year’s Resolution? It brings a shiver to my spine! Promising resolutions are made with great determination and high energy as we commit to losing weight, gaining income, or achieving life balance. Typically though, by February these well-intentioned plans fall to the wayside only to leave us with a sense of failure and defeat.
So, why do we set ourselves up to fail? Well, some see the New Year as an opportunity to “start over.” Some feel a renewed sense of excitement brought on by holiday spirit. Perhaps plain old-fashioned guilt is your motivation? Whatever the reason, we make promises to ourselves in hopes to cure the winter doldrums and resolve our daily challenges. But it’s just not working, so what’s the real solution if not the annual resolution to create change?
Gratitude. That’s it; one word; one feeling; one monumental step toward your dreams. Taking time each day to express gratitude to others, The Universe, God, Buddha, whomever, whatever you believe in – that’s the answer. This daily exercise is the single most effective activity that may spur you toward your dreams and goals. As you write short, daily notes about the little, joyous events in your life, your internal energy level rises. This energy compounds itself with each journal entry and takes us toward new awareness’s, resulting in positive change.
If you are in a difficult place in life, you may have to start small: the beautiful snowflakes on the window ledge; a smile from a stranger; the sound of children’s laughter. Anything that brings a touch of joy to your heart will do the trick. Shoot for 3 brand-new gratitude journal entries per day. Short, sweet, and to the point.
Now here’s the trick. Each day, as you write, pay attention to your heart. Feel the gratitude develop into joy, if only for a moment. Consider your heart a bank for the deposits of joy. When you have enough saved up, your life will begin to change and wonderful things will come your way.
Post your results here! If you have questions - feel free to ask. Believe me, this practice has changed my life!
So, why do we set ourselves up to fail? Well, some see the New Year as an opportunity to “start over.” Some feel a renewed sense of excitement brought on by holiday spirit. Perhaps plain old-fashioned guilt is your motivation? Whatever the reason, we make promises to ourselves in hopes to cure the winter doldrums and resolve our daily challenges. But it’s just not working, so what’s the real solution if not the annual resolution to create change?
Gratitude. That’s it; one word; one feeling; one monumental step toward your dreams. Taking time each day to express gratitude to others, The Universe, God, Buddha, whomever, whatever you believe in – that’s the answer. This daily exercise is the single most effective activity that may spur you toward your dreams and goals. As you write short, daily notes about the little, joyous events in your life, your internal energy level rises. This energy compounds itself with each journal entry and takes us toward new awareness’s, resulting in positive change.
If you are in a difficult place in life, you may have to start small: the beautiful snowflakes on the window ledge; a smile from a stranger; the sound of children’s laughter. Anything that brings a touch of joy to your heart will do the trick. Shoot for 3 brand-new gratitude journal entries per day. Short, sweet, and to the point.
Now here’s the trick. Each day, as you write, pay attention to your heart. Feel the gratitude develop into joy, if only for a moment. Consider your heart a bank for the deposits of joy. When you have enough saved up, your life will begin to change and wonderful things will come your way.
Post your results here! If you have questions - feel free to ask. Believe me, this practice has changed my life!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Gratitude Day!
What a cool night I had last night - while I was sleeping! For me, every day is Thanksgiving. I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night thanking the Universe for all of the blessings that I have in my life. I keep a gratitude journal, a simple little book of appreciation with short, little snippets of joyful moments pouring off of each page.
Last night, as I was sleeping, my conscious mind would drift to the surface every now and then with an awareness of yet another precious piece of life to be grateful for. Then, with a smile on my face and joy in my heart, I would drift off to sleep again. What a wonderful way to come into this very special day of thanks.
The way I see Thanksgiving is as an official Holiday for gathering together all of the thoughts of gratitude that I send out to the Universe each day. When you do that, how could you help but feel blessed!?
So, on this official holiday of thanks, I thank the Universe for each of you; each of my wonderful clients, and so much more. And I'm grateful that I am able to give thanks each day, not just on this day called Thanksgiving. Perhaps you too could begin a gratitude journal? It brings so much awareness and joy to life. Even on down days, you will find things to be thankful for. The exercise is healing and uplifting. On really down days, reading the journal can help bring you back up the emotional scale to a happier place.
What are you grateful for? Tap into the most inner-parts of yourself, think about your gifts, talents, passion, and loving abilities. Don't forget that the parts deep-down within are the most precious of gifts of all and all of your world will flourish when you are in touch with those most important parts of self.
Last night, as I was sleeping, my conscious mind would drift to the surface every now and then with an awareness of yet another precious piece of life to be grateful for. Then, with a smile on my face and joy in my heart, I would drift off to sleep again. What a wonderful way to come into this very special day of thanks.
The way I see Thanksgiving is as an official Holiday for gathering together all of the thoughts of gratitude that I send out to the Universe each day. When you do that, how could you help but feel blessed!?
So, on this official holiday of thanks, I thank the Universe for each of you; each of my wonderful clients, and so much more. And I'm grateful that I am able to give thanks each day, not just on this day called Thanksgiving. Perhaps you too could begin a gratitude journal? It brings so much awareness and joy to life. Even on down days, you will find things to be thankful for. The exercise is healing and uplifting. On really down days, reading the journal can help bring you back up the emotional scale to a happier place.
What are you grateful for? Tap into the most inner-parts of yourself, think about your gifts, talents, passion, and loving abilities. Don't forget that the parts deep-down within are the most precious of gifts of all and all of your world will flourish when you are in touch with those most important parts of self.
Fake It Till You Make It
My coaching practice is loaded with professional, successful entrepreneurs and corporate clients. I coach successful people – yes I do. And since this blog is based on honest, open communication, I will be totally upfront here – sometimes I wonder why I am able to attract, and successfully coach, such an incredible clientele. Now, let me tell you, I’ve come a long way. When I first began coaching a number of years ago, I would often think – “Who in the world am I to help people with their life problems? What do I know?” I would ignore my many successes, chalk them up to “luck,” and worry about someone finding out (in spite of my studies, certifications, and experience) that I was faking my way through each session.
Whew! It’s good to get that off my chest. Now-a-days these doubts are minor blips on the radar that probably fall into the “normal range.” However, many of my clients seem to show very similar “symptoms” and could probably be diagnosed as having a chronic case of what we call - The Imposter Syndrome. Some of the people I meet outside of my practice, say, in the coffee house and at networking events, often show the signs as well. It would make total sense that I draw these people to myself for three reasons: 1) Having gone through it myself I am acutely aware of the signs and symptoms, 2) when we are meant to do something specific in life, like help others with specific issues, that subject will haunt us until we listen to the Universe and succumb to the pressure, and (3) the fact that this little known, little understood thing called The Imposter Syndrome runs rampant in the minds of successful and intelligent people.
So, what do you do if you have these limiting thoughts more often than you’d like? How in the world do you start believing in yourself when this has been your thought pattern for as long as you can remember? How much more successful will you become if you can tame this beast?
Start by knowing that you are not alone. Seriously, I address this problem at least once a day in my coaching sessions. At one time or another, I believe that everyone goes through a period in life (at the very least) when thoughts of being a “fake” or “imposter” are limiting to their productivity and self-worth.
Consider coaching as a strong resource for growth and further understanding of yourself and your limiting thought patterns. A safe and nurturing coaching relationship is certainly the quickest way to overcome these self-defeating thought patterns. Begin to keep a log of your limiting beliefs. Ask yourself which are not reality based and which are truly areas to target for self-growth. Give yourself mini rewards for your successes – celebrate them! Talk to others about The Imposter Syndrome – you’ll be surprised to learn that once you open up others will do the same. This is a freeing experience and helps to kick the legs out from under this otherwise sturdy foundation of limiting beliefs.
Please share your experiences, successes, and feedback about The Imposter Syndrome. Let’s support one another here in this wonderful community of friends.
Whew! It’s good to get that off my chest. Now-a-days these doubts are minor blips on the radar that probably fall into the “normal range.” However, many of my clients seem to show very similar “symptoms” and could probably be diagnosed as having a chronic case of what we call - The Imposter Syndrome. Some of the people I meet outside of my practice, say, in the coffee house and at networking events, often show the signs as well. It would make total sense that I draw these people to myself for three reasons: 1) Having gone through it myself I am acutely aware of the signs and symptoms, 2) when we are meant to do something specific in life, like help others with specific issues, that subject will haunt us until we listen to the Universe and succumb to the pressure, and (3) the fact that this little known, little understood thing called The Imposter Syndrome runs rampant in the minds of successful and intelligent people.
So, what do you do if you have these limiting thoughts more often than you’d like? How in the world do you start believing in yourself when this has been your thought pattern for as long as you can remember? How much more successful will you become if you can tame this beast?
Start by knowing that you are not alone. Seriously, I address this problem at least once a day in my coaching sessions. At one time or another, I believe that everyone goes through a period in life (at the very least) when thoughts of being a “fake” or “imposter” are limiting to their productivity and self-worth.
Consider coaching as a strong resource for growth and further understanding of yourself and your limiting thought patterns. A safe and nurturing coaching relationship is certainly the quickest way to overcome these self-defeating thought patterns. Begin to keep a log of your limiting beliefs. Ask yourself which are not reality based and which are truly areas to target for self-growth. Give yourself mini rewards for your successes – celebrate them! Talk to others about The Imposter Syndrome – you’ll be surprised to learn that once you open up others will do the same. This is a freeing experience and helps to kick the legs out from under this otherwise sturdy foundation of limiting beliefs.
Please share your experiences, successes, and feedback about The Imposter Syndrome. Let’s support one another here in this wonderful community of friends.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Cooking Up a Recipe for Love?
Cooking up a new idea or intentionally creating change in your life can sometimes be a long, slow simmering process. The ingredients for change often wait patiently on the back burner until everything is in place and ready to serve up some major shifts in your life. I find this process absolutely fascinating and I'm so glad that I am (usually) at a place where I can sit back and watch in awe as my ideas become more flavorful and little tidbits of change introduce themselves on a more regular basis. I love manifesting positive change and watching it unfold before my eyes! It's like a science experiment with lots of unknowns - or creating a gourmet feast for the pallet without a cookbook. What fun! - Here's my latest...
Fall seems to be the time of year when I like to play with the idea of attracting that "special someone" into my life. There's something about the lovely scent of burning firewood and the crispy crunch of colorful leaves underfoot that conjure up warmth thoughts of a fun relationship and cozy evenings at home. So this fall, I decided to try a "science experiment" and put some intention into bringing some flirtatious fun into me life! Crazy, huh? Let's see what happens - I'll keep you posted, but so far here's where I'm at.
Riley, my wonderful, floppy-eared dog, and I were walking in the woods this weekend and I thought, "OK, so who will we meet today and how can I state the intention of meeting this person?" So I visualized meeting someone (a cute, male someone) who would be fun to chat with for a while. Sure enough, Riley found an adorable little pooch named Sammy to romp around with - and the cool part was that Sammy's dad was pretty cute too! We chatted for about 10 minutes and then went our separate ways. I really enjoyed talking with Sammy's dad so I put together a mental list of the qualities I found so appealing: funny, good listener, nature lover, charming, articulate, smart, great eyes and smile, and obviously a dog lover too!
I feel one step closer to finding a nice guy to hang out with because I attracted these qualities into my life already - albeit in a sort of temporary way. But that's OK because I know the Universe is listening! How cool is that?!
While I'm extremely happy with my life sans the significant other, it sure is fun to explore the possibilities and see what comes along. The trick here is (I believe) letting go of the outcome. As I give intention to consciously creating this change, I also allow that it may not be time or that I may need to be "alone" for a longer period of my life. And that's OK - it just is what it is...and I'm incredibly happy either way. Yay! I love cooking and I love science. I feel like I'm bringing both interests into my life as I cook up intentional change and watch what happens.
Do you have examples of creating change with intent? What kind of fun do you like to have with this wonderful process? I'll keep you posted on mine!
Fall seems to be the time of year when I like to play with the idea of attracting that "special someone" into my life. There's something about the lovely scent of burning firewood and the crispy crunch of colorful leaves underfoot that conjure up warmth thoughts of a fun relationship and cozy evenings at home. So this fall, I decided to try a "science experiment" and put some intention into bringing some flirtatious fun into me life! Crazy, huh? Let's see what happens - I'll keep you posted, but so far here's where I'm at.
Riley, my wonderful, floppy-eared dog, and I were walking in the woods this weekend and I thought, "OK, so who will we meet today and how can I state the intention of meeting this person?" So I visualized meeting someone (a cute, male someone) who would be fun to chat with for a while. Sure enough, Riley found an adorable little pooch named Sammy to romp around with - and the cool part was that Sammy's dad was pretty cute too! We chatted for about 10 minutes and then went our separate ways. I really enjoyed talking with Sammy's dad so I put together a mental list of the qualities I found so appealing: funny, good listener, nature lover, charming, articulate, smart, great eyes and smile, and obviously a dog lover too!
I feel one step closer to finding a nice guy to hang out with because I attracted these qualities into my life already - albeit in a sort of temporary way. But that's OK because I know the Universe is listening! How cool is that?!
While I'm extremely happy with my life sans the significant other, it sure is fun to explore the possibilities and see what comes along. The trick here is (I believe) letting go of the outcome. As I give intention to consciously creating this change, I also allow that it may not be time or that I may need to be "alone" for a longer period of my life. And that's OK - it just is what it is...and I'm incredibly happy either way. Yay! I love cooking and I love science. I feel like I'm bringing both interests into my life as I cook up intentional change and watch what happens.
Do you have examples of creating change with intent? What kind of fun do you like to have with this wonderful process? I'll keep you posted on mine!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Eat Pray Love - I loved it!
Tina posted a comment about Eat Pray Love and how much she missed it after she finished savoring its pages. Yes! I couldn't agree more. Doesn't a book like this just become part of your life while you're immersed in its engaging dialogue? It's like a conversation with a friend - a 2-way conversation - because in your head you are actively engaged with the books author. I love it I love it I love it! Liz Gilbert became my friend and I've never met her in person. Yet, I could SO identify with her struggle to understand spiritual connection and all of its mysteries.
Putting a book like this down is like going to a weekend workshop and meeting - and truly connecting with - awesome people who you know deep down inside you'll never see again. Yet, they touch you and create a soul memory that you will carry always. In some minute way, or sometimes in a very significant way, this meeting has left an imprint on your life and you'll carry it always.
What are some other books have you connected with like this? How have they left an imprint on your life? Please share!
Putting a book like this down is like going to a weekend workshop and meeting - and truly connecting with - awesome people who you know deep down inside you'll never see again. Yet, they touch you and create a soul memory that you will carry always. In some minute way, or sometimes in a very significant way, this meeting has left an imprint on your life and you'll carry it always.
What are some other books have you connected with like this? How have they left an imprint on your life? Please share!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Those Darn Cosmic Forces!
The other day, my alarm clock went off at 5:30am. Now, that would have been fine if I had to get up at 5:30am as I did the day before, but on this day my first client wasn't until 9am and I could have slept in for another hour or so. Suffice it to say, the persistent beeping of the alarm at 5:30 brought my peaceful slumber to a speedy end. Ok, so I gave in and decided to get up and enjoy a leisurely morning (my favorite time of the day by-the-way.) Perhaps I would take an extra-long shower, enjoy a good novel (Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert) over a cup of the morning coffee that I love so much. I know, I'll take myself to the coffee shop and snuggle up in front of that cozy fireplace for a while. Oh yes, life is good! I actually found myself feeling a bit on the grateful side that I had neglected to turn off my alarm...an unintentional shift in my mood and state - alright!
But there was something in the air - some collection of cosmic forces - that didn't think this should be quite so easy. In the half-hour it took for me to get dressed and ready to walk out the door, any number of minor irritants persisted to convince me that I may as well get right back into bed and hit restart. Oh ya, all the classics: stubbing my toe, tripping over the dog, no clean socks, and the ever popular "where did I leave my car keys?" Alas, I decided to give into the crankiness and allow myself to revel in this discombobulated state.
On my drive to the coffeehouse, I thought about one of my clients who often talks about days like these so I decided to use this morning as a study in consciously shifting one's state. "Are you joking?" you might ask. No. Really, think about it - what a great opportunity. Here you have a life coach who is having an awful day and the sun isn't even up yet (there has to be the makings of a joke in here somewhere.) So, here's what I did:
1) named 5 people in my life who can easily make me smile
2) watched for 2 things during my drive that brought a smile to my face
3) looked for 1 thing in nature that made me feel thankful to witness
4) named 3 things on the day's schedule that I could look forward to
Wow! Instant transformation, cosmic forces be damned! This was such a fun experiment.
How do you shift your mood/state when things aren't going as planned? Give it a try, it’s fun – really. Ok, at the very least it's an interesting thing to do. Try it, then let me know what did and didn't work for you.... send us YOUR list!
But there was something in the air - some collection of cosmic forces - that didn't think this should be quite so easy. In the half-hour it took for me to get dressed and ready to walk out the door, any number of minor irritants persisted to convince me that I may as well get right back into bed and hit restart. Oh ya, all the classics: stubbing my toe, tripping over the dog, no clean socks, and the ever popular "where did I leave my car keys?" Alas, I decided to give into the crankiness and allow myself to revel in this discombobulated state.
On my drive to the coffeehouse, I thought about one of my clients who often talks about days like these so I decided to use this morning as a study in consciously shifting one's state. "Are you joking?" you might ask. No. Really, think about it - what a great opportunity. Here you have a life coach who is having an awful day and the sun isn't even up yet (there has to be the makings of a joke in here somewhere.) So, here's what I did:
1) named 5 people in my life who can easily make me smile
2) watched for 2 things during my drive that brought a smile to my face
3) looked for 1 thing in nature that made me feel thankful to witness
4) named 3 things on the day's schedule that I could look forward to
Wow! Instant transformation, cosmic forces be damned! This was such a fun experiment.
How do you shift your mood/state when things aren't going as planned? Give it a try, it’s fun – really. Ok, at the very least it's an interesting thing to do. Try it, then let me know what did and didn't work for you.... send us YOUR list!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Grow with the Seasons of Change
The upcoming weekend will be devoted to closing down and winterizing my beautiful backyard pond and surrounding gardens. It feels like such a bittersweet event; one that I seem to postpone longer into the fall each year. But with it comes the excitement of knowing that the spring will bring a whole new experience into my little sanctuary as the pond blossoms to life again with many new aspects and features. There has never been a summer that repeats itself in the garden because each year I join with nature to introduce new plant life and surrounding features into the existing beauty of my little backyard retreat.
I relate this to my life experience as I grow and change with every new experience. Every day we have an opportunity to introduce new beauty into our lives. It’s such a joy to allow the positive influence of others into our lives and to learn and grow from each and every encounter.
Yesterday, I had a kitchen remodeler come to my home to discuss his bid for remodeling my outdated kitchen – YAY! Mitro’s bid was fair, but because he does custom work, a little more than I choose to spend in my current home. But, wow, was I tempted. I watched as his brilliantly creative mind concocted one scheme after another with such ease. I can’t even select a floor tile and he redesigned my kitchen 3 times in 10 minutes! After Mitro and his brilliantly creative mind left my home, I felt twinges of regret that my kitchen is not destined to experience this level of a makeover. Only moments passed before I moved into gratitude for the experience that changed my perspective on the “limited” space and potential for beauty in my humble kitchen. I could now see the space through his eyes and felt uplifted by the energy and creativity that Mitro brought into my home.
Every day, every person we meet, every insight we gain, bring opportunity for growth and change. How exciting! Like opening a beautiful gift every day, I look forward to the unknowns ahead in each day.
Are you able to name a simple experience that has given you an opportunity for change or shift in perspective? I bet you can…please share!
I relate this to my life experience as I grow and change with every new experience. Every day we have an opportunity to introduce new beauty into our lives. It’s such a joy to allow the positive influence of others into our lives and to learn and grow from each and every encounter.
Yesterday, I had a kitchen remodeler come to my home to discuss his bid for remodeling my outdated kitchen – YAY! Mitro’s bid was fair, but because he does custom work, a little more than I choose to spend in my current home. But, wow, was I tempted. I watched as his brilliantly creative mind concocted one scheme after another with such ease. I can’t even select a floor tile and he redesigned my kitchen 3 times in 10 minutes! After Mitro and his brilliantly creative mind left my home, I felt twinges of regret that my kitchen is not destined to experience this level of a makeover. Only moments passed before I moved into gratitude for the experience that changed my perspective on the “limited” space and potential for beauty in my humble kitchen. I could now see the space through his eyes and felt uplifted by the energy and creativity that Mitro brought into my home.
Every day, every person we meet, every insight we gain, bring opportunity for growth and change. How exciting! Like opening a beautiful gift every day, I look forward to the unknowns ahead in each day.
Are you able to name a simple experience that has given you an opportunity for change or shift in perspective? I bet you can…please share!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Where's MY Life Balance?!
As a life coach I sometimes wonder if I'm expected to be the perfect example of "having it all." When I get off my path I wonder what I would tell a client who is going down the same detour. Well, let me tell you - that isn't easy. It's probably akin to a chiropractor doing her own adjustment....or a dentist pulling his own tooth...OUCH!
So, here I am. My 21-year-old twin daughters living back at home. Life Balance? Did I ever talk to you about life balance? Well, feed it back to me will ya!? Oh yes, having my girls back home is a walk down memory lane alright. Their loving conversations go something like this:
"No Kim, those are YOUR dirty dishes!"
"Right Lauren, like I ate 2 plates of eggs for breakfast this morning."
"They're not both from eggs dumbo, that's your grilled cheese!"
Standing there dumb-founded and speechless I think, I can help a CEO of a major corporation develop the strategy to launch the next super-technology of the decade, but I can't get my kids to clean out the sink. What's that all about?
Life is fabulous though. Because for all the headaches and loss of household peace, I've gotten the opportunity to connect with my girls in a much different way. Kids change once they leave home - mine changed for the better. (Oh, ya - it used to be worse.) They now know why they need to turn off the lights and close the refrigerator door. They now do their laundry and consider it a privilege because they don't have to drop their paycheck in the mouth of a quarter-eating machine. But most of all, they now have enough real-life experience to understand Mom and what Mom does for a living. Get this: my kids are proud of me! How cool is that? And, are you ready for this one? They seem to respect my opinion....yup, little ol' me knows what I'm talking about....most of the time anyway.
So, is it worth it? Some days I wonder, but not for long. We talk, we cry, we laugh about the same things - yes, it's worth it. And somewhere in the clutter of a messy kitchen and 3 additional four-legged friends, I find time to regain my total peace and life balance. I just have to look a little deeper.
So, here I am. My 21-year-old twin daughters living back at home. Life Balance? Did I ever talk to you about life balance? Well, feed it back to me will ya!? Oh yes, having my girls back home is a walk down memory lane alright. Their loving conversations go something like this:
"No Kim, those are YOUR dirty dishes!"
"Right Lauren, like I ate 2 plates of eggs for breakfast this morning."
"They're not both from eggs dumbo, that's your grilled cheese!"
Standing there dumb-founded and speechless I think, I can help a CEO of a major corporation develop the strategy to launch the next super-technology of the decade, but I can't get my kids to clean out the sink. What's that all about?
Life is fabulous though. Because for all the headaches and loss of household peace, I've gotten the opportunity to connect with my girls in a much different way. Kids change once they leave home - mine changed for the better. (Oh, ya - it used to be worse.) They now know why they need to turn off the lights and close the refrigerator door. They now do their laundry and consider it a privilege because they don't have to drop their paycheck in the mouth of a quarter-eating machine. But most of all, they now have enough real-life experience to understand Mom and what Mom does for a living. Get this: my kids are proud of me! How cool is that? And, are you ready for this one? They seem to respect my opinion....yup, little ol' me knows what I'm talking about....most of the time anyway.
So, is it worth it? Some days I wonder, but not for long. We talk, we cry, we laugh about the same things - yes, it's worth it. And somewhere in the clutter of a messy kitchen and 3 additional four-legged friends, I find time to regain my total peace and life balance. I just have to look a little deeper.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Who? Me Disappointed?
How often have you felt the pang of disappointment when something didn't work out just as you expected/ Remember working so hard toward a goal only to be let down by the outcome? We tend work very hard to imagine our goals, visualize the outcome just so, and hang on to that vision for dear life. After all, isn't that what we coaches teach people to do? Goal + Measurable = Specific Outcome. But there is one very important piece missing in this equation; do we take time to enjoy the journey?
More than once, I've learned an important lesson from my "kid sister," Janine. Janine has Down Syndrome, and while some may view her life as uneventful or dull, Janine views her life as anything but that. Many may see Janine as a handicapped individual who has limited potential. I learned at an early age that Janine is gifted with insight and wisdom far deeper than that of a "normal" person. Janine understands that each moment has a purpose and each human being has a reason for being: When a loved one passes away, it's Janine who reminds us of their accomplishments and how deeply they once touched us. When events don't work out just as planned, it's Janine who shrugs it off and returns to relishing the moment just as it is.
Recently, Janine was excited by her plans to attend the Illinois State Fair to see Alice Cooper. (Yes, you heard me right - Alice Cooper!) But there was confusion in the schedule at Janine's place of residence and she and her friends were not taken to the fair grounds for the concert. As you can imagine, I was heart-broken for her. Janine deserves to have a good time and she'd looked forward to the event for weeks. My heart sank as I imagined my kid sister's disappointment and I was ready to place the call to console and offer promises of a greater adventure as soon as I could imagine what that might be. (How far does one have to go to make up for a missed Alice Cooper concert?) But this is the good-natured, happy-go-lucky Janine we're talking about. While fleeting moments of disappointment and confusion crossed her face, I'm sure, Janine let go of the outcome, allowed what is, and continued to enjoy the moment just as it is.
That was the end of Alice Cooper for this year. Perhaps Janine will have the opportunity to enjoy planning that journey again in the future. But that doesn't really seem to matter to her - because it's the journey in the here and now that matters most.
When I feel let down by missed opportunities, or spend time fretting about the how, what, and why of any given situation, I think of Janine. With all of the physical limitations placed on this perfect being, she is still able to enjoy life without limitation. Isn't that an example for all of us to live by?
More than once, I've learned an important lesson from my "kid sister," Janine. Janine has Down Syndrome, and while some may view her life as uneventful or dull, Janine views her life as anything but that. Many may see Janine as a handicapped individual who has limited potential. I learned at an early age that Janine is gifted with insight and wisdom far deeper than that of a "normal" person. Janine understands that each moment has a purpose and each human being has a reason for being: When a loved one passes away, it's Janine who reminds us of their accomplishments and how deeply they once touched us. When events don't work out just as planned, it's Janine who shrugs it off and returns to relishing the moment just as it is.
Recently, Janine was excited by her plans to attend the Illinois State Fair to see Alice Cooper. (Yes, you heard me right - Alice Cooper!) But there was confusion in the schedule at Janine's place of residence and she and her friends were not taken to the fair grounds for the concert. As you can imagine, I was heart-broken for her. Janine deserves to have a good time and she'd looked forward to the event for weeks. My heart sank as I imagined my kid sister's disappointment and I was ready to place the call to console and offer promises of a greater adventure as soon as I could imagine what that might be. (How far does one have to go to make up for a missed Alice Cooper concert?) But this is the good-natured, happy-go-lucky Janine we're talking about. While fleeting moments of disappointment and confusion crossed her face, I'm sure, Janine let go of the outcome, allowed what is, and continued to enjoy the moment just as it is.
That was the end of Alice Cooper for this year. Perhaps Janine will have the opportunity to enjoy planning that journey again in the future. But that doesn't really seem to matter to her - because it's the journey in the here and now that matters most.
When I feel let down by missed opportunities, or spend time fretting about the how, what, and why of any given situation, I think of Janine. With all of the physical limitations placed on this perfect being, she is still able to enjoy life without limitation. Isn't that an example for all of us to live by?
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Out of the Mouths of Babes!
As I talk to my clients about the importance of communication skills, I'm frequently reminded of a little anecdote about my children when they were only 6 years old (my girls are twins:)
Once the girls were able to reach the kitchen sink I decided (independently) that one of their "chores" would be feeding the dogs and refreshing their drinking water each day. So, I began the daily ritual of asking them to feed the dogs. Every day, I asked them to feed the dogs and every day they came up with a new way of procrastinating on the task. Naturally, my frustration grew and so did theirs. This went on for over a year! Finally, one day I snapped. "Why in the world is this such a big deal?" I accused, "You KNOW this is YOUR job!"
The girls looked at one another in confusion. It was Kim who finally spoke up and said, "Mom, you never told us it was our JOB, you just told us to do it."
From that day on it took few reminders to get the doggies fed. Now that these 7-year-olds clearly understood that this was their job and responsibility they were fine with officially taking it on. It was Mom who failed here when I did not communicate in a way that they needed me to. I wasn't clear and I did not define the terms.
I have carried this lesson with me through my career in corporate, small business, and now as a coach. Listen to the way your audience communicates and model your own communication after their learning style. Always be clear and explore any questions they may have. This is the foundation for a beautiful relationship!
Similar experiences? Share here!
Once the girls were able to reach the kitchen sink I decided (independently) that one of their "chores" would be feeding the dogs and refreshing their drinking water each day. So, I began the daily ritual of asking them to feed the dogs. Every day, I asked them to feed the dogs and every day they came up with a new way of procrastinating on the task. Naturally, my frustration grew and so did theirs. This went on for over a year! Finally, one day I snapped. "Why in the world is this such a big deal?" I accused, "You KNOW this is YOUR job!"
The girls looked at one another in confusion. It was Kim who finally spoke up and said, "Mom, you never told us it was our JOB, you just told us to do it."
From that day on it took few reminders to get the doggies fed. Now that these 7-year-olds clearly understood that this was their job and responsibility they were fine with officially taking it on. It was Mom who failed here when I did not communicate in a way that they needed me to. I wasn't clear and I did not define the terms.
I have carried this lesson with me through my career in corporate, small business, and now as a coach. Listen to the way your audience communicates and model your own communication after their learning style. Always be clear and explore any questions they may have. This is the foundation for a beautiful relationship!
Similar experiences? Share here!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Letting Go of The Outcome
Do you know what a vision board is? Well, in a nutshell it's a collage of pictures that represent the future you dream of. It's a daily reminder of why you're working so hard and of the commitments you have made to yourself. But most of all it's about faith. Faith in the Universe to hear you and to bring your desires to life - and faith in yourself to hear the Universe when it answers you in odd ways. But to do that, we first need to let go of the outcome because things don't always come to us wrapped in pretty boxes with stylish bows....
So what's that mean? "Letting go of the outcome?" Here's one example: One of my clients was courting a great prospect. After about 6 weeks he became highly frustrated that he still hadn't closed on the business. In a coaching session, he identified that this deal would allow him to bring on that additional sales person and perhaps a marketing person - very exciting, indeed. It's no wonder that Paul was frustrated.
Additional weeks passed and Paul's frustration grew because he was so certain that by now he'd be looking for people to fill these critical staff positions. Although he continued to close other business, all that seemed to matter to Paul was that this particular prospect was not signing on the dotted line. He was so focused on his perceived failure that he neglected to realize that the projected revenue from 2 other new accounts would create the cashflow necessary to grow his team as planned. Oops. Instead of focusing on his wonderful success, instead of realizing that The Universe chose to deliver via the back road, Paul lost track of his vision and got caught up in a whirlwind of fear and doubt. Of course, we got back on the right course and Paul has successfully added THREE new team members to his growing firm.
As you create your vision, identify what is most important about this vision. Is it absolutely imperative that your new mode of transportation be a red convertible? Or is it important that the new vehicle gives you a sense of freedom and joy; that it adds to your feeling of success and prosperity? Your new ride may be represented by a picture of a red convertible, but keep your eyes and mind open because you may fall in love with a blue motorcycle instead!
What images would you place on a vision board? Think about what they really represent - feel free to share your insights here on "Got Stuck?"
So what's that mean? "Letting go of the outcome?" Here's one example: One of my clients was courting a great prospect. After about 6 weeks he became highly frustrated that he still hadn't closed on the business. In a coaching session, he identified that this deal would allow him to bring on that additional sales person and perhaps a marketing person - very exciting, indeed. It's no wonder that Paul was frustrated.
Additional weeks passed and Paul's frustration grew because he was so certain that by now he'd be looking for people to fill these critical staff positions. Although he continued to close other business, all that seemed to matter to Paul was that this particular prospect was not signing on the dotted line. He was so focused on his perceived failure that he neglected to realize that the projected revenue from 2 other new accounts would create the cashflow necessary to grow his team as planned. Oops. Instead of focusing on his wonderful success, instead of realizing that The Universe chose to deliver via the back road, Paul lost track of his vision and got caught up in a whirlwind of fear and doubt. Of course, we got back on the right course and Paul has successfully added THREE new team members to his growing firm.
As you create your vision, identify what is most important about this vision. Is it absolutely imperative that your new mode of transportation be a red convertible? Or is it important that the new vehicle gives you a sense of freedom and joy; that it adds to your feeling of success and prosperity? Your new ride may be represented by a picture of a red convertible, but keep your eyes and mind open because you may fall in love with a blue motorcycle instead!
What images would you place on a vision board? Think about what they really represent - feel free to share your insights here on "Got Stuck?"
Imposters Everywhere!
When I landed my very first paying coaching client, I was excited beyond belief....until about an hour prior to our session. Then all the fears set in - "Who am I to help this guy build his business? What do I know that he doesn't already know? What if he asks for his money back!? Yikes," I thought, "I'm an IMPOSTER!!!"
Luckily, I came to my senses and realized that isn't true. I got my fears under control and the session went well, but - wow - I really wasn't prepared for this level of self-doubt. Do you ever feel like you're going to be "found out"? Like people think you know more than you really do know? Well, join the ranks of millions.
I've done a little research on the topic and, guess what? It even has a name. That's right, so many people experience this fear that it's got the perfect name: The Imposter Syndrome.
Even top-level, powerful executives experience The Imposter Syndrome. The experts who appear to be as cool as a cucumber and have the answer at their fingertips feel the flutter of disbelief when they are called in to consult or advise on the latest dilemma. . Moms and Dads wonder "who in the world am I to make these decisions for this little person?" but on the outside, they are the expert on what's best for their child. Women, especially suffer from forms of The Imposter Syndrome, wondering if their choice of words will sound right or if their decisions will be accepted as sound.
So, the next time you wonder how you qualify to do the job or reach for your dreams, know that you're not alone. At one time or another we all wonder how these responsibilities have found their way to our plate and how in the world we're going to "fake it till we make it" without being found out. But let's get real...you are NOT faking it. Take inventory of all the talent, knowledge, and wisdom that you DO bring to the table. Notice how often those around you ask for your input and advice. Give them some credit! Would they ask if they didn't consider you the authority?
Have you had an experience that could be described as a form of this epidemic syndrome? You're safe here - why not share? It will make us all feel more human.
Luckily, I came to my senses and realized that isn't true. I got my fears under control and the session went well, but - wow - I really wasn't prepared for this level of self-doubt. Do you ever feel like you're going to be "found out"? Like people think you know more than you really do know? Well, join the ranks of millions.
I've done a little research on the topic and, guess what? It even has a name. That's right, so many people experience this fear that it's got the perfect name: The Imposter Syndrome.
Even top-level, powerful executives experience The Imposter Syndrome. The experts who appear to be as cool as a cucumber and have the answer at their fingertips feel the flutter of disbelief when they are called in to consult or advise on the latest dilemma. . Moms and Dads wonder "who in the world am I to make these decisions for this little person?" but on the outside, they are the expert on what's best for their child. Women, especially suffer from forms of The Imposter Syndrome, wondering if their choice of words will sound right or if their decisions will be accepted as sound.
So, the next time you wonder how you qualify to do the job or reach for your dreams, know that you're not alone. At one time or another we all wonder how these responsibilities have found their way to our plate and how in the world we're going to "fake it till we make it" without being found out. But let's get real...you are NOT faking it. Take inventory of all the talent, knowledge, and wisdom that you DO bring to the table. Notice how often those around you ask for your input and advice. Give them some credit! Would they ask if they didn't consider you the authority?
Have you had an experience that could be described as a form of this epidemic syndrome? You're safe here - why not share? It will make us all feel more human.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
